
I know that I have persistent difficult feelings. (Fear, anxiety, shame, confusion, disdain, guilt, dread, embarrassment, etc.)
I understand that these persistent feelings are from the past.
I know there may be other feelings underneath these feelings.
Ultimately, I am willing to feel all of these feelings and I am willing to feel the pain of unmet needs that caused these feelings to come about in the first place.
I understand that I’ve been hiding this pain for good reason and that access to the feelings is likely to be gradual and to take time.
I am willing to learn to have patience, gentleness and kindness for myself in the meantime and I am willing to remember that I am loved and supported even when I feel isolated and disconnected.
For me, there are many layers of feelings, flowing and weaving into one another.
One layer that I’m encountering these days is jealousy, suspicion and resentment. I want to believe that I’m better than that, I’m a highly enlightened person who doesn’t have those sorts of emotions. But when we let ourselves believe that, we are just keeping those things in hiding, right? I’m willing to feel the pain, disappointment and loss that happened early in my life and that is underneath what shows up now as jealousy, suspicion or resentment toward others. I’m so grateful for this work.