Willing

I know that I have persistent difficult feelings. (Fear, anxiety, shame, confusion, disdain, guilt, dread, embarrassment, etc.)

I understand that these persistent feelings are from the past.

I know there may be other feelings underneath these feelings.

Ultimately, I am willing to feel all of these feelings and I am willing to feel the pain of unmet needs that caused these feelings to come about in the first place.

I understand that I’ve been hiding this pain for good reason and that access to the feelings is likely to be gradual and to take time.

I am willing to learn to have patience, gentleness and kindness for myself in the meantime and I am willing to remember that I am loved and supported even when I feel isolated and disconnected.
For me, there are many layers of feelings, flowing and weaving into one another.
One layer that I’m encountering these days is jealousy, suspicion and resentment. I want to believe that I’m better than that, I’m a highly enlightened person who doesn’t have those sorts of emotions. But when we let ourselves believe that, we are just keeping those things in hiding, right? I’m willing to feel the pain, disappointment and loss that happened early in my life and that is underneath what shows up now as jealousy, suspicion or resentment toward others. I’m so grateful for this work.

OK

I am willing to believe that things will be ok, ok in some way, even if I can’t see how that is going to work.

As I can believe that things will be ok, my body softens, my breath deepens, and I feel less distant from and more connected to others.

I ask for gentle wisdom and insight into who I can be and what I can do that will help things be as ok as possible, even as I soften into support.

Welcome Selves

Look in a mirror. Sense who is there. We each have many parts or selves, some of whom are shy or uncomfortable. Notice whatever you notice about who you see. Look at her or him or all of them and say:

“Welcome, I’m glad that you’re here. And if you’re not sure if I’m talking to you, then I’m talking to you. Welcome, I’m glad that you’re here.”

Notice what happens inside of you.

Feel yourself extending welcoming.

Feel yourself receiving welcoming, or shying away from it. Notice your breath, notice your body.

Protector Allies

Visualize and imagine a team of strong people, animals, or beings around you whose mission is to watch out for you, to protect you, and if you wish, to be friends to you. These could be bears or martial artists or dogs or lions or spirit guides or magicians.

Feel what happens to your energy and your emotions when you relate to these beings. When we feel supported and protected, we tend to be more comfortable, more clear-headed, and more effective.

Note: While these allies may help you to feel more confident and be more clear-headed, they won’t actually physically protect you from substantial present day threats.

When Less is More

When Less is More

In Somatic Experiencing®, the renegotiation and resolution of chronic or acute trauma does not come from diving deep into the traumatic experience and experiencing every bit of it so it can go away.

The Somatic Experiencing approach is to first focus on resource and regulation, deliberately paying attention to and spending time with what is working well and what feels solid. Finding that experience in the body and becoming familar with it.

When we do work directly with “traumas”, we still first contact resource in the person’s body or experience. Then there is a “pendulation”, an alternating between contacting something supportive, then contacting something uncomfortable, and gently going back and forth between the two.

Because our progress is not in proportion to the amount of contact we make with the trauma. It’s related to the degree to which we can bring trauma and safety together and have them shake hands.

Zoom event this Thursday and new free worksheet – check it out!

It’s a lot.
What is happening in our country is a lot.
What is happening in the world is a lot.
Right now, what’s happening In my personal life is a lot.
I invite each of us to take a moment, to slow down, to send blessings and well wishes everywhere they are needed, including to ourselves.
Let’s remain open and curious about what we are called to in these moments.

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