Reminding myself – and you – to do our practices! - Somatic Developmental Trauma Healing with Rosalie Corame

Hello, Beloved fellow humans, friends and travelers,

Let me start out by saying that I am taking new transformational somatic trauma coaching clients.
The people who may benefit from working with me are people whose inner experience has always been somewhat uncomfortable and chaotic and who are willing to be curious and explore what is happening in the layers of experience that occur beneath their conscious awareness. If this describes someone you know, you might direct them to my website or invite them to sign up for my newsletters.

Some things my clients report as a result of working with me:

– More capacity to know that they are ok even when things are demanding, both in their bodies and in their lives.
– More spaciousness in their body and energy.
– Re-connection or more consistent connection to hope and vitality.
– The ability to not be swept away when intense and overwhelming emotions arise.
– Knowing they are not crazy for having intense, non-linear feelings and thoughts.

This work is both serious and light at the same time. We are dealing with very real sh*t, and yet there is no need to be somber and heavy about it. There is space for light, laughter and breath without diminishing or denying the very real pain and challenges we are working with.

I offer a 45-minute Discovery Call for $30 and typically that time period allows for some degree of contact with deeper feelings and/or some palpable experience of being seen and heard in a manner that brings relief. This call tends to provide a taste of what it is like to work with me as a trauma coaching client, and people for whom I’m a good fit tend to have a definitively good experience in the call.

The link to schedule a Discovery Call is here:

Click here to schedule a Discovery Call with me

Now, here is my update.

Good news on the health front! Over the past week I have walked around the block every day. That’s a big deal and a big change from how things have been for the past few months. Root causes are still not clear, but one theory is that repeated exposures to Covid have put stress on my system and that I’ve managed to create a long enough break from Covid exposure that my body is experiencing some respite.

Have you ever had a project that repeatedly turned out to be bigger or take longer than it seemed like it should? That is happening with me. I’m working on a book – No, a course! – No, a toolkit, with worksheets and videos! – No, maybe it is a book!

Whatever form it takes, I’m trying to create a roadmap and toolkit that will help people navigate disorganized personality structures and emotional chaos that result from developmental trauma. And I’m running into two big challenges.

First, this stuff is complicated.

To heal and re-organize ourselves, one key ingredient is safety. So that could be a good place to start, right? Let’s move toward the experience of safety in our bodies and in the world.

But for some of us, the techniques that are meant to support safety just don’t work at all – because there is very little connection to Body and Self and there’s a big Red Flag reaction to anyone or anything who is trying to tell us to settle down or to connect to anything. So that could be a good place to start then, right? Let’s move toward connecting with the Body and reinforcing Autonomy.

But for some of us, the Body feels like a minefield and any kind of autonomy exercise either feels fake or else we just can’t relate.

So, where to start? In some ways our inner landscapes can feel a bit like a circular emotional firing squad. Every positive movement provokes a defensive reaction somewhere else.

That’s one of the challenges.

The second challenge is that I am still a work in progress. I’m trying to draw a map to the top of the mountain while I’m only partway up the slope myself. I really want a time machine so I can pop into the future, grab the finished product of whatever I’m creating here, and then use it to manage my own somatic process as I’m trying to build this thing. This applies both to things like creative blocks and also to the possibility that I may actually need to get a few steps further along my own healing journey to gather sufficient perspective and insight to put this together well.

How much knowledge, insight and understanding is enough? It’s not an easy question, especially when “I don’t know what I don’t know,” I don’t know what and how much I’m still missing in my understanding. So I’m continuing to dance with all of this, asking for inspiration and guidance from the universe and from the wisest places within myself.

So, that’s me! How are you doing?

And why am I sharing this with you?

First, I’m sharing my story because I want to connect with you, and this is what’s up.
And second, I’m going to share with you some of the things I’m doing to move forward, and I’m inviting you to consider joining me in these endeavors, if any of them resonate or seem interesting to you.

Here are my key intentions for my self-work for the next weeks:

Spiritual practice and connection
Acknowledging the scope of the disorganization, stress and distress
Self-care, pleasure, joy
Slowing down

I started putting together this newsletter about a week ago, and during those days I have been working with these four intentions, and adding a fifth:

“Breathe anyway”

Today I put these together into an integrated practice. Here’s the graphic for that practice.

Each one of these practices is important, and each one is easy to just forget to include, the awareness can just disappear. The remainder of this newsletter lists some resources I have been using to support myself in these practices. If you’ve made it this far, feel free to read these in detail, or scan through them, or skip them altogether.

Intention 1: Spiritual practice and connection

Three years ago I recorded a brief guided generic spiritual practice. I just listened to it now and it was grounding and helpful. I’m setting the intention to make the time to listen to this practice once a day for the next 3 weeks, sitting with a photo of my beloved guru. I invite you to join me in listening to this recording or to some other recorded practice or music that supports your connection with your religion or spirituality.

Here’s that generic spiritual practice recording – 3 minutes long

And I created this meme for additional support and encouragement.

Intention 2: Acknowledging the scope of the disorganization, stress and distress

Here are new graphics for the occasion.

The relief that I mention in this next one was really palpable for me.

And one more for good measure, with kitten eyes.

Intention 3: Self-care, pleasure, joy

Self-care is tricky. I preach it, but then I somehow think I am exempt. Like I’ve transcended beyond needing care and gentleness. Or something. Trust me, it doesn’t actually make any sense! Except that a key element of developmental trauma is suppressing and denying our needs, and we can come up with really creative ways of doing that which can be quite convincing.

Without any alternative inspiration, I decided to create a template for self care so I can try things and make notes on how they go.

So, as a pause right in the middle of initially composing this newsletter, I tried this. Here are some of my notes:

“I’m planning to spend 3 minutes hugging my Squishmallow.”

“As soon as I squeezed the Squishmallow, I started to cry.”
“Then my shoulder dropped and my breath deepened.”
“I leaned back into the corner of the chair and I could feel the longing for deep relaxation and letting go.”

“For the final minute, I held the Squishmallow tight with both arms. I could feel the emotion, the longing in my arms. ‘Please don’t go, please don’t go, please don’t go, please don’t go.’ It was a young feeling and it wasn’t a particular someone. But I can feel how my body wanted someone to be safe and loving and present, even if there maybe wasn’t an actual somebody to fill that role.”

“Conclusion: This was a successful self-care activity. Better than I expected and totally not what I expected.”