“Let me tell you about you”

“Let me tell you about you”

Just because something is true about someone doesn’t mean that hearing it will be helpful to them.

The result of developmental trauma is that we are hiding lots of (true) things from ourselves about ourselves. We do want to become aware of those things, but at a tolerable pace, not all at once. And we want to learn them in a gentle way, not dumped in our lap.

So just because YOU can see that I am actually defensive as #%*& doesn’t mean that it’s going to help my healing process for you to point out to me that I am being defensive.

Let’s have the intention to be aware of what the other person is experiencing and to be curious about whether what we want to share is supportive of their stability and growth. This can be difficult, when something is SO CLEAR to us.

Of course, this also means that sometimes when I feel strongly that someone else’s criticism of me is inaccurate, it might be that they are on point and I can’t afford to know that about myself yet.

Humility, Curiosity, Respect, Gratitude.

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