Boundary Violations
(No No’s in a relationship)
Yelling and Screaming
Name Calling
(Any sentence that begins with “You are a _____”
Shaming and Humiliating
Communicating that someone is a bad or worthless person. Shaming behaviors include ridiculing, mocking, being sarcastic, patronizing.
Telling another adult what he or she should do
Unless you are someone’s boss, therapist or advisor, you have no right to tell another grown person what he or she needs to do. (This is different than requesting.) The same goes for telling someone who they should think or feel.
Making Contracts and Breaking Them
Lying
Manipulating
Creating undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention of seize power, control, benefits and/or privileges at another’s expense.
Examples: If you leave me, I will withhold contact with the children. Threatening divorce to get something (when there is in divorce intention.)
From The New Rules of Marriage, Terry Real, pp 104-105.